Say Less
- David Ayres
- 8 hours ago
- 2 min read
Read
Proverbs 10:18-19 (NKJV) — "Whoever hides hatred has lying lips, and whoever spreads slander is a fool. In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is wise."
What It Is Speaking to Me
We have all been there. In the midst of a great conversation, a terrible fight, or anything in between — and we do it. Or more accurately, we say it. That one word, that one phrase we shouldn't have said. That one word that was over the line. The rude sentence, the story that turned to gossip, the joke that goes too far, the overshare or trauma dump.
We don't know why we do it, and if we did, we probably wouldn't do it as much. You rarely regret being silent. You often regret speaking. At the end of the day, the only solution is what we have just read: restraint.
How do we learn restraint? Experience and the Holy Spirit.
My kids are learning how to be funny and joke around. Inevitably, while we are verbally sparring in the car or at the dinner table, they end up crossing the line — one joke too far. Then I help them see how they crossed it, so they can recognize that line the next time and stay on the right side of it. The stakes at my dinner table are low, which hopefully leads to them not using one word too many when the stakes are higher. Negative experiences in that department can be painful learning opportunities.
Apart from experience, the Holy Spirit is our helper in this too. There have been many conversations where the Spirit has cautioned me to stop: Don't finish that. Don't share that. Keep that to yourself. If I fail to hear him in the moment, he is also faithful to convict me that I blew it — and that I should probably do some proactive damage control.
The wise show restraint. I could say more, but....
What Is It Saying to You?
Do you have more regret for the times you have spoken than for the times you remained silent?
Do you know when you have crossed the line of too many words?
What Are We Going to Do About It?
Practice a pause today in conversations, online, or in conflict. Before you add more words, ask: Is this one more than the right number?