Bitter-proof Clothing

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Colossians 3:12–14 (CSB) "Therefore, as God's chosen ones, holy and dearly loved, put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a grievance against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you are also to forgive. Above all, put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity."

What It Is Speaking to Me

Sometimes clarifying definitions helps. Not all offenses are sins. People think that if they get offended by something you do or say that you have sinned against them... that isn't necessarily true. Maybe they are just over-sensitive, selfish, or judgmental (we'll come back to that). But even if none of those things are true about them, you still might not have sinned. A bit of an aside, but it helps to clarify what comes next.

Let's say you HAVE sinned.

That's a bummer... let's change the story.

Let's say someone ELSE has sinned against you.

Still a bummer, but at least it wasn't you. It is a legitimate offense. What do we have to do?

Look how Paul hems us in (pun, just a little early!). He is frustratingly good at it. He uses the imagery of putting on clothes (get it...? hems us in...? you got it). The first layers we put on are compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. When you are wearing all of those, it is pretty hard to get offended by someone. Right?

(Side note: You folks who get easily offended... maybe check to see if you are putting all these layers on, because if you get easily offended often, you probably forgot a layer or two. Told you we would come back to that. Hopefully you aren't offended now, and you keep reading!)

But even with all those clothes on, someone could do something that gets through, and in that case, it probably is a sin. Well, Paul still has one more layer for us to put on. "Above all, put on love..." The top garment. The article of clothing that goes over all the rest and ties them all together. When you are wearing all the right clothes and someone sins against you, what is left to do? Love them. If you love them, you will forgive them.

Love and forgiveness are intrinsically linked because forgiveness flows out of love. Love is the creative force for the very existence of forgiveness. Without love, forgiveness wouldn't exist. So people who struggle with forgiveness are really just people who struggle with love.

The great delusion of a bitter person (people who don't forgive are bitter) is that they think they are still a loving person. They aren't. There is no real love without real forgiveness. If you withhold forgiveness in your life, you forfeit Christ-like love. To think you haven't only proves you are in wonderland... without any of the fun cats and caterpillars that Alice had.

"As Christ forgave you." This serves as a subtle warning. To borrow from the Tyndale commentary on these verses, "It is highly presumptuous to refuse to forgive one whom Christ himself has already forgiven." If Christ has forgiven them, who am I, really? I don't usually consider my presumption when I am holding a grievance against someone else... scary thought, isn't it?

"As Christ forgave you." Paul ends verse 13 with a reminder that calls all Christians to the same standard. We have no real choice if we call ourselves followers of Jesus.

None at all.

What Is It Saying to You?

What grievances are you holding against someone else?

Why aren't you loving that person?

Do you think you really have a good reason?

Where is there room in these verses for you to hold on to your grievance?

What Are We Going to Do About It?

List one specific offense you are holding against someone and genuinely release it today. Don't give yourself the choice not to. You don't want it anyway.

Commentary Footnote:

N. T. Wright, Colossians and Philemon: An Introduction and Commentary, vol. 12, Tyndale New Testament Commentaries (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1986), 147.