Does this dress make me look bad?

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Exodus 20:16 (ESV) "You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor."

What it is speaking to me:

"Does this dress make me look bad?"

Married guys, you know this question. I don't know why they do it to us, they have to know already right? You're standing at the bottom of the stairs, you're probably already running late, and she's wearing that one dress you've never really been a fan of. What do you say? Lie straight up? Change the subject? Fake a sudden coughing fit? In one of my seminary classes, an entire room of future pastors couldn't agree on the answer. Evidently truth-telling isn't always as simple as we'd like it to be.

In the immediate context the language is one of someone lying in court in a way that harms another. This commandment has a direct object: against your neighbor. God's concern isn't only that we report the facts accurately. He's concerned about what our words do to the people around us.

A lie is never just a lie. It's something we do to someone.

Flattery says to your face what I'd never say behind your back.

Gossip says behind your back what I'd never say to your face.

Slander takes something false and spreads it around to do damage.

Lies tear down, truth builds up.So, I know you have been waiting: Maybe the answer at the bottom of the stairs isn't a lie OR a critique. Maybe it's something completely true that builds her up: "No dress can make you look bad to me."

Cop out? Some would say yes. But Truthful? Definitely. I have a feeling the Father cares a lot more about our heart posture than any dress.

What is it saying to you?

Are your words building up your neighbor or wearing them down?

Is there a hard truth you've been holding back, not out of love but out of fear?

What are the situations where you find yourself most tempted to lie?

How could you avoid them altogether, or find a way to be truthful in them?

What are we going to do about it?

Challenge yourself to be completely truthful today. Pray for the wisdom to do it well.

(Important Note: Being truthful does not mean voicing every thought. It means WHEN you speak, speak truth. Wisdom is sometimes knowing when to keep your mouth shut...)