Spouting Off First

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Proverbs 18:13 (NLT) Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish.

Proverbs 18:17 (ESV) The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him.

What it is speaking to me:

Picture this: A friend comes to you upset about a falling out of some kind with someone else you know, and by the time they finish talking, you've decided who's right and who's wrong. You haven't heard the other person's side. Most of you thinks you don't need to. You already have your verdict. Besides, you trust your friend right?

Solomon has an opinion about that hypothetical story I outlined above...(it's only hypothetical right?) He calls it foolish to form a judgment on half the evidence and treating it like the whole picture. The next verse I shared makes this even plainer: One person's account, however honest, is still only one angle. It sounds convincing because it's the only version you've got, not because it's really a complete one.

This tends to show up most when someone we already like or trust brings us a complaint about someone we don't know as well (or maybe like as much). Their version feels true because maybe we want it to be true, or simply because it's the only one we have. So we nod along, maybe even repeat it to someone else, and a judgment gets made and passed around before the other person ever gets a chance to speak for himself.

The wise king doubles down too, Solomon said it is not just foolish, it is shameful. That's a strong wording for something that can feel like simple loyalty or common sense in the moment when you are speaking with your friend. Who doesn't want to be a supportive and loyal friend by taking their side?

But taking one person's side just because essentially they got to us first isn't real loyalty. It might just be laziness dressed up as certainty. We treat a partial story like a settled case, and someone ends up misjudged because we never sought the rest of it. "Shameful" makes more sense then.

What is it saying to you?

Have you made up your mind about someone, or some situation, based on only one account before?

How did that work out?

Did whatever judgment you made survive hearing the other person's side?

Was it really as simple as your first friend made it out to be?

What are we going to do about it?

Before you settle your opinion on any conflict or complaint today, ask yourself if you've actually heard from everyone involved. If you haven't, hold the verdict.