The One With the Promise
Read
Exodus 20:12 (KJV) Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
What it is speaking to me
Growing up, I read this commandment the way most kids do, simply as a rule for kids...that the Sunday school teacher seemed to bring up more than the other ones for some reason....hmm...
"Don't talk back. Do what you're told." Fine, I got it, next commandment. In my childhood brain I doubt it sat in my head on pretty much the same rung as "eat your vegetables" and "don't run with scissors." Practical advice, sure. Exciting, no.
Then I got older, and the commandment didn't go anywhere. It just changed shape.My teenager years were full of ready examples about the cost of disobeying my parents, and so I would follow this commandment more out of self-preservation than anything else.
Paul actually points out in Ephesians 6, calling it "the first commandment with promise." Nine other commandments are just "don't." This one comes with a "so that." Honour your father and mother, so that your days may be long. God isn't just handing down a rule about respecting authority figures. He's telling us something about how our lives actually work when the most fundamental human relationship we have gets treated the way it should be treated.
When we grow up we realize it was never really just about obedience. Obedience is part of it for children under a roof...but the command to honor is for the rest of your life, no matter where you live on planet Earth. Honor is what you owe someone even after you've outgrown taking orders from them, even after the relationship gets complicated, even after they get older and the roles start to reverse and you're the one making decisions for them. The commandment doesn't have an expiration date. It just asks something different of you at forty than it did at fourteen.
We haven't graduated past it. We've just moved into a harder version of it.
What is it saying to you?
Where has your posture toward a parent shifted from honor into something closer to management, resentment, or distance?
Is there a version of "honor" available to you now that has nothing to do with obedience and everything to do with how you speak about them, or to them?
What would it look like to honor a parent this week in a way that costs you something, perhaps time, humility, patience?
What are we going to do about it?
Pick one specific way you can honor a parent (or parent figure) this week that goes beyond the bare minimum. Maybe a call instead of a text, an apology you've been putting off, or simply choosing not to roll your eyes at something that used to bother you. Do it before the week is out.
